copheasanthunter
Member
my daddy always told me it is hell ta gets old and can now says he were right.Joints hurt, bowl problems, prostate must be as big as a grapefruit, memory goes and you repeat your selfs.
Take fur example, yesterday i thought Id take the cur dogs fer a walk. we gets to the place i was gonna walkum at, right off the road but 150 yds or so. I lets them out and they takes off probably looking fer a coon or possum or ? anyways I take off following them and it hits me, i goes behind the only tree in the field to urinate, fur you redneck kansas boys that there is takihg a whiz, now fur I start a fight here, not all kansas boys are rednecks and being one aint all that bad, as my wife calls me one, but I aint from kansas cause they are really good at it there, again anyways. I wet down the tree zips up the pants and look fur the dogs and go MAYBE 20 feet, yep, back to that ole tree to wet it again, well really 2 more times, dang enlarged prostate. well by now the dang dogs are chasing a jackrabbit and I take off after them, wells I forgots that I am old and have a bad right knee, well i falls down and now my knee is really hurting and on top off that the cur dogs sees it and they comes running over to me and I can't get up rights away like and they are looking at me likes I am crazy or sumpin and begins sniffing all over me than starts liking me, well i can get up QUICK now cause one of un gots into a pile of you know what. dang dogs, probably my little girl cause she is good at it.
Anyways I am up now and i start walking away when i notice a car stopped up on the road and I figure someone saw me fall and is aimen to come help me but no one gets out so I goes on AND about that time my stomack makes this loud awful sound and it hits me, my muscles in my bottom lock up and I start toward the tree as fast as I can, now i mean to tell you i was sweating tryin to get to that tree as quick as I can WHEN i hear, mister, mister, i turn around and there is this woman walking toward me and all i can think is ,god why me, well she starts to tell me about how she saw me with my dogs and though she would tell me how happy it made her feel to see someone out with there dog. well all i can do is size up the distance between me and the tree and hoping God would strike this woman down with a lighnin bolt so i can do what i gots to do. now i dont want her killed but i have business i gots to take care off. well by now I am groundhogin, you know when a groundhog kinda sticks his head out of the hole, well that is where i was at now. well she finally sees i aint a talker and she leaves, tree 50 yds away and i am runnin undoing my bid overalls, pullin them down and i finally get to the tree, finish my business and guess what, I ALWAYS carry t p in my bibs for times like this, well the sweet girl i call wife washed them , hung um back up and forgot to put t p back in. well it is winter, leaves are all of the tree and blown away. now you see the predictament i m in now. well lets just say i got er done, finally. well the dogs are long gone, i blow on the whistle and i just as well as did nothin cause they aint comin. well i look fur them and sees them a long ways off, so i holler who wants a treat and they hear me and comes a runnin to me, well to make the story short, wife forgot to replace the treats in my bibs, now i lots 3 pi**ed off dogs. well i had enought so i goes to the truck and when i gets there i had to think how to get home, figured that out so headed the truck toward home. Not a good day,
did I tell you about the woman who came down to talk to me about my dogs, oh yeh i did, another senior moment. any way it is hell ta get old.
Take fur example, yesterday i thought Id take the cur dogs fer a walk. we gets to the place i was gonna walkum at, right off the road but 150 yds or so. I lets them out and they takes off probably looking fer a coon or possum or ? anyways I take off following them and it hits me, i goes behind the only tree in the field to urinate, fur you redneck kansas boys that there is takihg a whiz, now fur I start a fight here, not all kansas boys are rednecks and being one aint all that bad, as my wife calls me one, but I aint from kansas cause they are really good at it there, again anyways. I wet down the tree zips up the pants and look fur the dogs and go MAYBE 20 feet, yep, back to that ole tree to wet it again, well really 2 more times, dang enlarged prostate. well by now the dang dogs are chasing a jackrabbit and I take off after them, wells I forgots that I am old and have a bad right knee, well i falls down and now my knee is really hurting and on top off that the cur dogs sees it and they comes running over to me and I can't get up rights away like and they are looking at me likes I am crazy or sumpin and begins sniffing all over me than starts liking me, well i can get up QUICK now cause one of un gots into a pile of you know what. dang dogs, probably my little girl cause she is good at it.
Anyways I am up now and i start walking away when i notice a car stopped up on the road and I figure someone saw me fall and is aimen to come help me but no one gets out so I goes on AND about that time my stomack makes this loud awful sound and it hits me, my muscles in my bottom lock up and I start toward the tree as fast as I can, now i mean to tell you i was sweating tryin to get to that tree as quick as I can WHEN i hear, mister, mister, i turn around and there is this woman walking toward me and all i can think is ,god why me, well she starts to tell me about how she saw me with my dogs and though she would tell me how happy it made her feel to see someone out with there dog. well all i can do is size up the distance between me and the tree and hoping God would strike this woman down with a lighnin bolt so i can do what i gots to do. now i dont want her killed but i have business i gots to take care off. well by now I am groundhogin, you know when a groundhog kinda sticks his head out of the hole, well that is where i was at now. well she finally sees i aint a talker and she leaves, tree 50 yds away and i am runnin undoing my bid overalls, pullin them down and i finally get to the tree, finish my business and guess what, I ALWAYS carry t p in my bibs for times like this, well the sweet girl i call wife washed them , hung um back up and forgot to put t p back in. well it is winter, leaves are all of the tree and blown away. now you see the predictament i m in now. well lets just say i got er done, finally. well the dogs are long gone, i blow on the whistle and i just as well as did nothin cause they aint comin. well i look fur them and sees them a long ways off, so i holler who wants a treat and they hear me and comes a runnin to me, well to make the story short, wife forgot to replace the treats in my bibs, now i lots 3 pi**ed off dogs. well i had enought so i goes to the truck and when i gets there i had to think how to get home, figured that out so headed the truck toward home. Not a good day,
did I tell you about the woman who came down to talk to me about my dogs, oh yeh i did, another senior moment. any way it is hell ta get old.