it is hell to get old

my daddy always told me it is hell ta gets old and can now says he were right.Joints hurt, bowl problems, prostate must be as big as a grapefruit, memory goes and you repeat your selfs.
Take fur example, yesterday i thought Id take the cur dogs fer a walk. we gets to the place i was gonna walkum at, right off the road but 150 yds or so. I lets them out and they takes off probably looking fer a coon or possum or ? anyways I take off following them and it hits me, i goes behind the only tree in the field to urinate, fur you redneck kansas boys that there is takihg a whiz, now fur I start a fight here, not all kansas boys are rednecks and being one aint all that bad, as my wife calls me one, but I aint from kansas cause they are really good at it there, again anyways. I wet down the tree zips up the pants and look fur the dogs and go MAYBE 20 feet, yep, back to that ole tree to wet it again, well really 2 more times, dang enlarged prostate. well by now the dang dogs are chasing a jackrabbit and I take off after them, wells I forgots that I am old and have a bad right knee, well i falls down and now my knee is really hurting and on top off that the cur dogs sees it and they comes running over to me and I can't get up rights away like and they are looking at me likes I am crazy or sumpin and begins sniffing all over me than starts liking me, well i can get up QUICK now cause one of un gots into a pile of you know what. dang dogs, probably my little girl cause she is good at it.
Anyways I am up now and i start walking away when i notice a car stopped up on the road and I figure someone saw me fall and is aimen to come help me but no one gets out so I goes on AND about that time my stomack makes this loud awful sound and it hits me, my muscles in my bottom lock up and I start toward the tree as fast as I can, now i mean to tell you i was sweating tryin to get to that tree as quick as I can WHEN i hear, mister, mister, i turn around and there is this woman walking toward me and all i can think is ,god why me, well she starts to tell me about how she saw me with my dogs and though she would tell me how happy it made her feel to see someone out with there dog. well all i can do is size up the distance between me and the tree and hoping God would strike this woman down with a lighnin bolt so i can do what i gots to do. now i dont want her killed but i have business i gots to take care off. well by now I am groundhogin, you know when a groundhog kinda sticks his head out of the hole, well that is where i was at now. well she finally sees i aint a talker and she leaves, tree 50 yds away and i am runnin undoing my bid overalls, pullin them down and i finally get to the tree, finish my business and guess what, I ALWAYS carry t p in my bibs for times like this, well the sweet girl i call wife washed them , hung um back up and forgot to put t p back in. well it is winter, leaves are all of the tree and blown away. now you see the predictament i m in now. well lets just say i got er done, finally. well the dogs are long gone, i blow on the whistle and i just as well as did nothin cause they aint comin. well i look fur them and sees them a long ways off, so i holler who wants a treat and they hear me and comes a runnin to me, well to make the story short, wife forgot to replace the treats in my bibs, now i lots 3 pi**ed off dogs. well i had enought so i goes to the truck and when i gets there i had to think how to get home, figured that out so headed the truck toward home. Not a good day,
did I tell you about the woman who came down to talk to me about my dogs, oh yeh i did, another senior moment. any way it is hell ta get old.
 
@copheasanthunter - Unfortunately, I understand the humor of your post way more than I care to admit! :eek:

Oh to be a young buck again...Let's just pretend we are Grand Ol' Silverbacks (the king-kong rulers of the jungle)! :D
 
:thumbsup:
good story:D
 
It sucks being young and my body is 120!!! My knee is ready for a replacement, so I walk in circles!!!! It is great for pivot fields though!!:cheers:
 
It is nice to get find something to laugh about in here so regularly these days.

copheasanthunter, you couldn't possibly claim to be much different than us hicks in your neighboring state....nobody would believe you.

Bleu,

I have a mental image of a guy w/ one good leg hopping around an irrigated field now, calling his dogs, trying to get in position for shots, etc.; that should be worth a couple chuckles an hour clear up to lunch.
 
It sucks being young and my body is 120!!! My knee is ready for a replacement, so I walk in circles!!!! It is great for pivot fields though!!:cheers:

I've had both my knees replaced. Bleu what are you waiting for? getr done my boy you won't regret it.
 
bleu,
ole gove county brit done told me you where good at walking in circles, but he didn't say anything bout no leg trouble though, surely he wasn't trying to insenuate anythin do ya, naw he tant that there away, or at least that ist what I've been told, ain't met him yet. heard tell ya did though, is it true he likes rivers and canoes and banjos.
pose ta go hunt with him in janutary 2011 but he did hurts my feelings, all three of um, told me to leave my cur dogs a home, guess I will as he is willing to take me huntin and said I could see some real dogs work, i ask him what kind of dogs he had and he said brits, guess he is talking about britittanys, guess it is good i dont bring ole rufus as he is partial to brits, they make a good supper fur him, although he did breed one, a high faluting one at that, well that is another story, still paying the owner off and can't get rid of the pups, i have to admit they are pretty ugly lookin and are pretty loud,specially on full moon nights.
well hope to heck the leg gets better, they do good jobs now workin on em, heck go for it dude, they got goode sh*t fur the pain and all. I am having a little procedure done myself, just got off the phone with the hospital setting up my pre op appointment, but I wont be talking about it though.
 
It sucks being young and my body is 120!!! My knee is ready for a replacement, so I walk in circles!!!! It is great for pivot fields though!!:cheers:

Clockwise or counterclockwise? If it is counter and you go fast enough you will actually get younger.
 
I used to be amused at the old coggers who bit of more than they could chew walking bird fields. Now I resemble those remarks! I'm taking down all your names so when I have to be wheeled out in my wheel chair to block fields and ditch crossings, you will be the first guys I call. By the way, you'll have to wipe the drool off my chin too. I fear the future, all my old cronies retired from the field and became duck hunters, died within a few years after. I figure that's what happens when you become an old age duck hunter, so I'm going the Scooter store route.
 
bleu,
ole gove county brit done told me you where good at walking in circles, but he didn't say anything bout no leg trouble though, surely he wasn't trying to insenuate anythin do ya, naw he tant that there away, or at least that ist what I've been told, ain't met him yet. heard tell ya did though, is it true he likes rivers and canoes and banjos.
pose ta go hunt with him in janutary 2011 but he did hurts my feelings, all three of um, told me to leave my cur dogs a home, guess I will as he is willing to take me huntin and said I could see some real dogs work, i ask him what kind of dogs he had and he said brits, guess he is talking about britittanys, guess it is good i dont bring ole rufus as he is partial to brits, they make a good supper fur him, although he did breed one, a high faluting one at that, well that is another story, still paying the owner off and can't get rid of the pups, i have to admit they are pretty ugly lookin and are pretty loud,specially on full moon nights.
well hope to heck the leg gets better, they do good jobs now workin on em, heck go for it dude, they got goode sh*t fur the pain and all. I am having a little procedure done myself, just got off the phone with the hospital setting up my pre op appointment, but I wont be talking about it though.

His dogs play Banjo's as well!!!!! LOL Joe you know I am only funnin' ya!! He did whip it out and start whizzin' in his drive way and said this is why I live in a small town!!!!! That is the God honest truth!!!!!!! I am jealous!!!!!:D:cheers:
 
Bleu,
I can imagine or really believe that Joe's dogs are banjo playing fools, gives him more time to do what he dues, what ever that is,
Bleu I know you are good upright fellar and all but you left yourself open fur some ribbing, now when you said you were jealous of the old GC brit i knows you meant you were jealous of ole joe cause he can do his thing right there were he lives, in the country,and not have to worry none, but when you said he just whipped it out and you were jealous, well I had to reread it again and then I underdtood what you was aimen to say. I donts read to well , well witha 3rd grade edukation and all whats you expect. but like i said i reread it, real slow like and all and i guess i would not be to afraid to hunts with ya and ole GC brit, but if he sits down at the porch and starts playing duelling banjo, well the pea shooters coming out. :)
you all have a good un and will talk to ya all later.
 
I just talked to ole GCB and he told me his britts are sophisicated just like he is and would no more play a fiddle than he would, being sophisticated and all they plays violins and only classical stuffs liken that there.
And he said it does have advantages living in the country like shooting deer out of his kids tree house,treeing coons in the back yard and shooting rabbits in the driveway. Got to love it don't ya.
 
if you guys didn't have anyone to pick on here then it would be boring guess it's a good thing i have braod shoulders and can handle it ol blue does walk in circles especially when he is ready to lay down and I am the jelouse one he cocks his leg and can mark the top of the tree :D and them ol cur dogs of copheasanthunters could come along but i'm affraid i wouldn't get them out of the cricks away from the coon trees long enough to find some birds :D
 
GCB,
Yeh, them cur dogs likes them there kricks pretty good but you know them coons got more meat to em than an ole ditch chiken and you can get a$1.25 fer a good hide.
 
I used to be amused at the old coggers who bit of more than they could chew walking bird fields. Now I resemble those remarks! I'm taking down all your names so when I have to be wheeled out in my wheel chair to block fields and ditch crossings, you will be the first guys I call. By the way, you'll have to wipe the drool off my chin too. I fear the future, all my old cronies retired from the field and became duck hunters, died within a few years after. I figure that's what happens when you become an old age duck hunter, so I'm going the Scooter store route.


Me too sorta, sepin Ima fixin ta save up fer one a dem bad boy 4 wheeler scooter buggies "Lectrick", quiet jobs. Fixed mounted 50 cal auto with bird loads.:D
 
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