Wow. Too bad you ran into a) one person who didn't want to be reasonable & b) another who didn't know it's not his place to grant permission.
Because finding & contacting the actual landowner can be SOOO incredibly difficult these days, & because I don't need to find a ton of birds to satisfy a big group, I spend very little time trying to procure permission on private land any more. But I've done a lot of it. After introduction & pleasantries, the next words out of my mouth are, "Do you own that?" If the answer is, "No," then maybe they can tell me who does & how best to contact that person. But I've had many people tell me things like, "Yeah, that's Frank's land. He's into town today, but he lets people hunt. Go ahead. He won't mind." Or, "The lady who owns that lives in Timbuktu & never, ever comes here. It'd be fine if you walked that."
NO. WAY. Even if I talk to someone who leases the land & says yes, I ask, "Do you feel you're in the position to give me permission? I don't want to put you in a bad spot." Although I believe it rarely happens, I think the letter of the law states that thou shalt have WRITTEN permission to hunt somebody's land. But at a minimum, I always make every attempt to talk to the actual owner, or at a bare minimum, someone who says they have the authority to grant me permission. And I GET NAMES. And....even if it seems like the boundaries of a pheasanty little spot are clear, ALWAYS clarify with the landowner what IS his land & what ISN'T. The potential problems just aren't worth it.