After reading your comment last Friday, it just kind of sat in the back of my brain... I want to share some of my story with you and maybe you will see similarities to your own situation. If it upsets you, please accept my apology, that was never my intention.
I'm a very intensely competitve guy. Not an olympian, or even a league champion, but very intensely competitive nontheless. I HAVE to beat the guys I'm playing against, regardless of what we are doing, and I ALWAYS keep score...
About 3 years ago my dad got really ill. At first it was shingles, but then kidney problems came, and nerve problems. He was in tremendous pain and could hardly walk even short distances. He's since recovered somewhat, but can still only walk short distances and needs braces on his legs. He has always been healthy, strong, and proud, but now he needs help to do many of the things he used to do easily. At first he expected he would heal quickly because he always had before. Then he got frustrated and wondered how long it would take, and now I suspect he has realized that he will have to accept some limitations for the rest of his life.
We used to shoot sporting clays together once a month, and fish quite often. I have asked him for years to come hunting with me in western KS, but the dates never worked out or something came up. He had been asking me for years to go back with him to his hometown in SD, and hunt where he grew up but we never made it work for one reason or another. Kids, jobs, no $$, you know how it is...
He doesn't talk about a South Dakota trip anymore, and gets frustrated and angry whenever I ask him to go hunting with me in KS. He thinks he would be a burden to me and my friends, and would ruin the fun. I tell him that I have a plan of places he could block for us, and wouldn't need to walk hardly at all, but he just gets upset that he needs special accomodations and focuses on what he can't do anymore.
Anyway, my point is that there is nothing that Dad or I can do to change his situation. It is what it is... But I really wish he would get over his stubbornness and pride and let me help him. I wish he could see that I give him the assistance I do because I love and respect him and not because I pity him. And I wish he would get out of the house and do some of the things we used to do.
From an intensely competitive son's perspective, I would just love to have dad with me. I don't care a bit about who does all the walking and who does all the blocking. I don't care a bit if I make an extra trip or two to the truck so I can carry all his fishing gear to the boat for him, in fact it's an honor to do it. If I could get him back to the sporting clays range, I would carry his gun or push him in a wheelchair or throw him over my damn shoulder and carry him if it meant that we got to spend the afternoon together. And I sure as hell wouldn't care what the score was when we were done... And I'm a guy who ALWAYS keeps score.
Some things in life are just more important than keeping score. Sometimes walking the most fields, shooting the most birds, breaking the most targets, or catching the most fish, isn't that important. Just being in the fields, at the ranges, and lakes with the people you love is what counts.
If any of that relates to you or not, I don't know. But I thought you might like to know from a "WE MUST WIN OR ELSE" son's perspective, that sometimes, just being there IS winning. :cheers:
