copheasanthunter
Member
Last week te ole GCB called me and told me I had better get my lazy a** to Kansas as he had the best dog there ever was and he just wanted me to be the first ta see the dog. Well I asked ole boy, dude itz two in za morning and all, can I come down over the coming weekend which he yeh I guess ifin ya wants ta wait that long, which I said I DID.
Well I pulls up ta the ole GCB's place and he comes out a runnen ta me, well kinda running like, ya gots ta know him, well anyway he tellz me ta get inta the house as he has the dog in there waiting fer me. Well I knew this had ta be some kind a dog for the Brit ta have the dog in the house and all. Well about the time I get inta the house the Brits pretty daughter comes round the corner with a full size poodle at which time I tell her I seez ya gots a new dog, at which time the ole GCB ( to be ided here after as the Brit) dumn a** that there is my dog I had ya come to see.
I tell him, the Brit, that I guess he would make a fine bird dog, even though under my breath I was starting to question the brits knowledge and mental apptitude and all.
Well he real hurt like yells out that aint no bird dog that there is my new coon hound.Now I am trying to figure out where the hound is hidden in this here dog at which time brit interferes with my figuring and tells me he heard tell that the full size poodles were used in africa to chase down lions and leopards. Wellas he is telling me this Ilook at this here dog an figure ifin that are so I would wagger that there alot of poodles in Africa that never went on more than one hunt in there life time, ifin ya know whats I mean.
I start to question his senality or what ever ya calls it at which time he tells me hes aimen to take me to his friends house who has a pet coon he was aimen ta stick in the tree there in his back yard so he, the brit, could show me he had a sure enough coon dog.
Well now it is hot out so the Brit says he is gonna take me to his favor rite watering hole till right fer dark when we would drive to his friends home ta show me what his dog were about.
Well now about 10 beers later for the brit, two fur me, we takes for to his, the brits, friends house. As we pull up to the friends house we see him taking his ladder down from the tree and starts walking toward the garage were we are getting out of the Brits truck. His friend says Joe the coon is in the tree, and he was as you could see it there in the fork of the tree,go ahead and getz your hound, I still aint figures that out,hound, anyways Joe gets his HOUND ?and walks over to the tree, and I swear to goodness sake it looked like it, the dog ,not Joe, was awalking like it had a corn cob up itz a**. Kinda feminate like, oh yeh I forgotz ta tell ya it where a male dog, anyways Joe walks that there hound over ta the tree and it, the dog not Joe, just lays down. Joes friend says well maybe it aint smelling it cause I did not leave a trail to the tree so he cant smell him as ita real warm and the scent is arising yet, so take him back to the truck and I will get the coon down and walk it to ta tree so there will be scent on ta ground and I will walk the coon round the tree fer some good scent, and while ya boys are awaiting fer me I gots some shine there in the garage, just help your sef, well we did, after a little spell he, Joes friend comes back, Joes gets the hound and takes it to the tree, the dogs acts like he smells supen, Joe puts out a holler get it dawg, the dog looks up at Joe like he wondering like I were early about his mentality and all, any way the dog sits there and look up at the coon and lays down, well Joe takes the lead and pulls the dog to the tree and starts slapping the tree I guess ta try to get ole dog excited and all but it aint happening.
Well Joes friend tells Joe slapp the tree real hard to get his attention ,stick his nose to ta tree and take your other hand and pinch his ear real hard like so ta get him to bawl.
Well Joe does that, beats on the tree, puts ole dogs nose to the tree than commences ta pinch the dogs ear,
Well all I can say was Joe was getting withit cause he started wailing away, and a hollering,I recond ta show the dog how it were done and he all of a sudden quit slapping the tree and started to doing a jig like, well I kind a get inta it as well and start hollering like I aint got no sence and then Joes friend commences in doing the same, and I mean to tell ya Joes is getting it hollering real high like until all of a sudden Joes hollers over to us two guys and says will ya two SOB's,( he didnt spell it out in reality though if in you know whats I mean)
so we runs over there and know we see how he were able to scream like a woman about to octoves higher than a woman squells, cause when Joe pinched that dogs ear, Joe weren t excited trying to excite that dog, no sir rea, when Joe piched that dogs ear that there HOUND nailed Joes thumb with those pretty pearly white teeth. Well Joe s buddy says ta Joe, Joe ya alright well Joe answers ver batum hell ****^%$ no I aint fuc**** okay, get this da**, no good, flea bidden dog of a me. I said ta Joe you mean HOUNd, well I tell ya if looks coulda killed Id be dead.Joes friend and I figured if Joe woulda loosen up on that there ear he probably woulda let go or at least he coulda used the hand to swat the snot out the HOUND ( :
Well we told Joe we would a took him to the dr. but he said he were to embarassed to do it so we pored some shine on him, not much as we didnt wanta waste to much and oh Joe kinda did a jig again when we pored it on his thumb, well when we commenced to quit dancing we gave him a snout full ta drink then I drove him home. I told him I had better get home as I had things ta get done. I asked him ifin he wanted me ta take the dog in the house, well cant repeat what he said but he told me to take that ********* dog to the dog pen and make sure I dont tell NO ONE. Well tomorrow will be a week and I aint told no one as I promised him I wouldnt.
Joe s friend just called and said he saw a sign in the barber shop fur a DOG fur sale, said it were a sweet family dog and the owner will pay YA $20.00 ta take it. Said he thought the phone number weres Joes.
Go figure.
I apoligize fer the spelling but it is kinda hard to spell good when your laughing you as* of as you write this and you are reminded of it all.
Well I pulls up ta the ole GCB's place and he comes out a runnen ta me, well kinda running like, ya gots ta know him, well anyway he tellz me ta get inta the house as he has the dog in there waiting fer me. Well I knew this had ta be some kind a dog for the Brit ta have the dog in the house and all. Well about the time I get inta the house the Brits pretty daughter comes round the corner with a full size poodle at which time I tell her I seez ya gots a new dog, at which time the ole GCB ( to be ided here after as the Brit) dumn a** that there is my dog I had ya come to see.
I tell him, the Brit, that I guess he would make a fine bird dog, even though under my breath I was starting to question the brits knowledge and mental apptitude and all.
Well he real hurt like yells out that aint no bird dog that there is my new coon hound.Now I am trying to figure out where the hound is hidden in this here dog at which time brit interferes with my figuring and tells me he heard tell that the full size poodles were used in africa to chase down lions and leopards. Wellas he is telling me this Ilook at this here dog an figure ifin that are so I would wagger that there alot of poodles in Africa that never went on more than one hunt in there life time, ifin ya know whats I mean.
I start to question his senality or what ever ya calls it at which time he tells me hes aimen to take me to his friends house who has a pet coon he was aimen ta stick in the tree there in his back yard so he, the brit, could show me he had a sure enough coon dog.
Well now it is hot out so the Brit says he is gonna take me to his favor rite watering hole till right fer dark when we would drive to his friends home ta show me what his dog were about.
Well now about 10 beers later for the brit, two fur me, we takes for to his, the brits, friends house. As we pull up to the friends house we see him taking his ladder down from the tree and starts walking toward the garage were we are getting out of the Brits truck. His friend says Joe the coon is in the tree, and he was as you could see it there in the fork of the tree,go ahead and getz your hound, I still aint figures that out,hound, anyways Joe gets his HOUND ?and walks over to the tree, and I swear to goodness sake it looked like it, the dog ,not Joe, was awalking like it had a corn cob up itz a**. Kinda feminate like, oh yeh I forgotz ta tell ya it where a male dog, anyways Joe walks that there hound over ta the tree and it, the dog not Joe, just lays down. Joes friend says well maybe it aint smelling it cause I did not leave a trail to the tree so he cant smell him as ita real warm and the scent is arising yet, so take him back to the truck and I will get the coon down and walk it to ta tree so there will be scent on ta ground and I will walk the coon round the tree fer some good scent, and while ya boys are awaiting fer me I gots some shine there in the garage, just help your sef, well we did, after a little spell he, Joes friend comes back, Joes gets the hound and takes it to the tree, the dogs acts like he smells supen, Joe puts out a holler get it dawg, the dog looks up at Joe like he wondering like I were early about his mentality and all, any way the dog sits there and look up at the coon and lays down, well Joe takes the lead and pulls the dog to the tree and starts slapping the tree I guess ta try to get ole dog excited and all but it aint happening.
Well Joes friend tells Joe slapp the tree real hard to get his attention ,stick his nose to ta tree and take your other hand and pinch his ear real hard like so ta get him to bawl.
Well Joe does that, beats on the tree, puts ole dogs nose to the tree than commences ta pinch the dogs ear,
Well all I can say was Joe was getting withit cause he started wailing away, and a hollering,I recond ta show the dog how it were done and he all of a sudden quit slapping the tree and started to doing a jig like, well I kind a get inta it as well and start hollering like I aint got no sence and then Joes friend commences in doing the same, and I mean to tell ya Joes is getting it hollering real high like until all of a sudden Joes hollers over to us two guys and says will ya two SOB's,( he didnt spell it out in reality though if in you know whats I mean)
so we runs over there and know we see how he were able to scream like a woman about to octoves higher than a woman squells, cause when Joe pinched that dogs ear, Joe weren t excited trying to excite that dog, no sir rea, when Joe piched that dogs ear that there HOUND nailed Joes thumb with those pretty pearly white teeth. Well Joe s buddy says ta Joe, Joe ya alright well Joe answers ver batum hell ****^%$ no I aint fuc**** okay, get this da**, no good, flea bidden dog of a me. I said ta Joe you mean HOUNd, well I tell ya if looks coulda killed Id be dead.Joes friend and I figured if Joe woulda loosen up on that there ear he probably woulda let go or at least he coulda used the hand to swat the snot out the HOUND ( :
Well we told Joe we would a took him to the dr. but he said he were to embarassed to do it so we pored some shine on him, not much as we didnt wanta waste to much and oh Joe kinda did a jig again when we pored it on his thumb, well when we commenced to quit dancing we gave him a snout full ta drink then I drove him home. I told him I had better get home as I had things ta get done. I asked him ifin he wanted me ta take the dog in the house, well cant repeat what he said but he told me to take that ********* dog to the dog pen and make sure I dont tell NO ONE. Well tomorrow will be a week and I aint told no one as I promised him I wouldnt.
Joe s friend just called and said he saw a sign in the barber shop fur a DOG fur sale, said it were a sweet family dog and the owner will pay YA $20.00 ta take it. Said he thought the phone number weres Joes.
Go figure.
I apoligize fer the spelling but it is kinda hard to spell good when your laughing you as* of as you write this and you are reminded of it all.
