Stolen from another site

[Glock]

Two old bird hunters were enjoying some brown liquid when one asked the other if he carried a compass when he hunted in case he got lost. "Nope", said the other. "What do you do if you get lost?" "I just fire three or four shots in the air, and say, How could I have missed that bird?" "Three or four guys will come out of the woods to tell me what I did wrong, and at least one of them will have a compass."

 

[Tomahawker]

I heard always carry a deck of cards. When you get lost, set down and play a hand of Solitaire, sooner or later someone will come along and tell you how to play.