In honor of commercial hunting operations showing off their political clout this legislative session and other fun political stuff going on in the state, I've written a new tv series.
My first TV series will be called "The Lodge," written about a 3rd generation pheasant hunting outfitter named Hank. Episode one opens with Hank flying down the road in his Ram 3500 camo painted dually to confront and threaten charges against an elderly man and his grandson for shooting roosters out of the road ditch too close to his property. We get flashbacks of Hank's dad confronting two obviously drunk and high road hunters and getting mauled by their pair of vicious labradoodles while a young Hank looks on from the truck and is scarred for life. Cut to a shot of young Hank vowing to ban road hunting if its the last thing he ever does.
Episode 2 we learn that Hank's neighbor down the road is opening a new bigger lodge complete with golf course and stripper poles and is offering their hunts at a discount forcing Hank to tell his kids that they might not make it another year and might have to sell the land to Ted Turner.
Episode 3 we learn Hanks entire pheasant farm gets sick when Ted Turner's buffalo get too close and they have to kill off all 50,000 roosters. With the club down the road buying up all of the regions available pen raised birds, Hank makes the decision to buy birds on the black market from the Chinese Triad so that his big corporate hunt, the "SD Tourism stay and play annual ringneck retreat sponsored by Sanford/Premier/Summit Carbon" can still go off without a hitch and put their books back in the black.
Episode 4, on the eve of the big hunt, after an opening scene where Kid Rock is playing a concert and the governor arrives, we learn that Hank is very friendly with the governor and she confides in him late that night that the president asked her to become a fed.
Episode 5 is a cliff hanger having us wondering what will happen to all of the birds that Hank's guests shot during the "SD Tourism stay and play annual ringneck retreat sponsored by Sanford/Premier/Summit Carbon" since half of the guests are vegans from Sioux Falls and don't want to take their birds home.
Episode 6 we learn that these birds get dumped at the train station. Hank makes a quick trip to Pierre the next day meet with all of his buddies in the state legislature to make sure the new prison gets funding to house all the road hunters and pot heads.
That's all the farther I've gotten so far, and my restroom break is over.
My first TV series will be called "The Lodge," written about a 3rd generation pheasant hunting outfitter named Hank. Episode one opens with Hank flying down the road in his Ram 3500 camo painted dually to confront and threaten charges against an elderly man and his grandson for shooting roosters out of the road ditch too close to his property. We get flashbacks of Hank's dad confronting two obviously drunk and high road hunters and getting mauled by their pair of vicious labradoodles while a young Hank looks on from the truck and is scarred for life. Cut to a shot of young Hank vowing to ban road hunting if its the last thing he ever does.
Episode 2 we learn that Hank's neighbor down the road is opening a new bigger lodge complete with golf course and stripper poles and is offering their hunts at a discount forcing Hank to tell his kids that they might not make it another year and might have to sell the land to Ted Turner.
Episode 3 we learn Hanks entire pheasant farm gets sick when Ted Turner's buffalo get too close and they have to kill off all 50,000 roosters. With the club down the road buying up all of the regions available pen raised birds, Hank makes the decision to buy birds on the black market from the Chinese Triad so that his big corporate hunt, the "SD Tourism stay and play annual ringneck retreat sponsored by Sanford/Premier/Summit Carbon" can still go off without a hitch and put their books back in the black.
Episode 4, on the eve of the big hunt, after an opening scene where Kid Rock is playing a concert and the governor arrives, we learn that Hank is very friendly with the governor and she confides in him late that night that the president asked her to become a fed.
Episode 5 is a cliff hanger having us wondering what will happen to all of the birds that Hank's guests shot during the "SD Tourism stay and play annual ringneck retreat sponsored by Sanford/Premier/Summit Carbon" since half of the guests are vegans from Sioux Falls and don't want to take their birds home.
Episode 6 we learn that these birds get dumped at the train station. Hank makes a quick trip to Pierre the next day meet with all of his buddies in the state legislature to make sure the new prison gets funding to house all the road hunters and pot heads.
That's all the farther I've gotten so far, and my restroom break is over.