Kismet
UPH Guru
If I suddenly disappear, notify the upland game manager in Wisconsin, they might know what to do.
It started back on December 30th, in bitter cold weather I was letting the season end and just had taken a shopping trip into town before hunkering down for the forecast harsh conditions. It's about a 3 mile trip into town and as I turned up the hill for the last mile and a half portion on a farm road, I noticed some movement ahead, on the right edge of the road.
As I approached, I slowed down considerably, because there, where none had ever been before, was a rooster pheasant ambling back and forth on the side of the road with apparently no purpose or direction, but just hanging out like a kid at the mall.
I slowed to a crawl and passed him, giving him a wide berth to make sure we didn't have a bird/car encounter. Creeping by, I pulled back over to my side of the road and looked in the rear view mirror to make sure he was safe.
What I saw was the rooster striding quickly AFTER ME! I slowed even more, and the bird picked up its speed. I stopped the car, left it idling, and opened the door. The bird kept on, as if I was the target it was waiting for on the side of the road up the hill.
I got out and stood there. The bird kept coming towards me until it was about five feet away, then studied me. It was a brilliantly colored small rooster, with first year tail growth. It canted its head and looked at me.
I looked back.
There have been no pheasants anywhere along this area for decades. I think this bird had been sent to infiltrate the area and study my behavioral patterns for a vengeance attack at a later time.
I crouched down and made a soft whistle to the bird. Nothing. I did it again, a little louder; this time he stepped back. I extended my arms, like you might to encourage a puppy to run to you. The bird turned sideways, but kept its eyes focused on me.
I took a step, then another, forward. The bird backed around the edge of the car. I duck-walked forward, trying to not make any sudden moves. We continued this little dance around the back of the car, then along the side of the car, on the narrow space between the car and the sloping wooded hillside down to some leased crop land far below; me duck-walking and giving small chirps and the pheasant taking casual strides away from me. By the time I got to the front of the car, I asked myself what I was planning on doing with a pheasant in my arms, in a running car, on one of the colder days of the year. I also considered the image I presented...some loss of dignity here.
Was I trying to rescue it? Duh.
So I stood up, yelled and took a stride at the pheasant, with my arms waving."Go live!!!"
The bird just looked at me.
I rushed it, and finally, it walked--not ran--walked into the brush on the downhill side of the road. I didn't think much of its chances for survival.
But in the days and weeks since then, I've seen a different rooster pheasant IN MY BACK drive, not 50ft from the house. Pheasants have not lived in this area for over 15 years. The neighbor is a very aggressive farmer, maximizing his yield and milking up to 80 cows on his family farm. Between the loss of habitat, coyotes, raptors, and his filing wet or boggy ground, they've just not continued.
I think I'm under surveillance. Some sort of Mossad-type pheasant unit is planning a revenge attack for my dog-and-gun incursions into their areas.
I'm being vewy vewy caweful.
But if I vanish, you'll know what happened.
It started back on December 30th, in bitter cold weather I was letting the season end and just had taken a shopping trip into town before hunkering down for the forecast harsh conditions. It's about a 3 mile trip into town and as I turned up the hill for the last mile and a half portion on a farm road, I noticed some movement ahead, on the right edge of the road.
As I approached, I slowed down considerably, because there, where none had ever been before, was a rooster pheasant ambling back and forth on the side of the road with apparently no purpose or direction, but just hanging out like a kid at the mall.
I slowed to a crawl and passed him, giving him a wide berth to make sure we didn't have a bird/car encounter. Creeping by, I pulled back over to my side of the road and looked in the rear view mirror to make sure he was safe.
What I saw was the rooster striding quickly AFTER ME! I slowed even more, and the bird picked up its speed. I stopped the car, left it idling, and opened the door. The bird kept on, as if I was the target it was waiting for on the side of the road up the hill.
I got out and stood there. The bird kept coming towards me until it was about five feet away, then studied me. It was a brilliantly colored small rooster, with first year tail growth. It canted its head and looked at me.
I looked back.
There have been no pheasants anywhere along this area for decades. I think this bird had been sent to infiltrate the area and study my behavioral patterns for a vengeance attack at a later time.
I crouched down and made a soft whistle to the bird. Nothing. I did it again, a little louder; this time he stepped back. I extended my arms, like you might to encourage a puppy to run to you. The bird turned sideways, but kept its eyes focused on me.
I took a step, then another, forward. The bird backed around the edge of the car. I duck-walked forward, trying to not make any sudden moves. We continued this little dance around the back of the car, then along the side of the car, on the narrow space between the car and the sloping wooded hillside down to some leased crop land far below; me duck-walking and giving small chirps and the pheasant taking casual strides away from me. By the time I got to the front of the car, I asked myself what I was planning on doing with a pheasant in my arms, in a running car, on one of the colder days of the year. I also considered the image I presented...some loss of dignity here.
Was I trying to rescue it? Duh.
So I stood up, yelled and took a stride at the pheasant, with my arms waving."Go live!!!"
The bird just looked at me.
I rushed it, and finally, it walked--not ran--walked into the brush on the downhill side of the road. I didn't think much of its chances for survival.
But in the days and weeks since then, I've seen a different rooster pheasant IN MY BACK drive, not 50ft from the house. Pheasants have not lived in this area for over 15 years. The neighbor is a very aggressive farmer, maximizing his yield and milking up to 80 cows on his family farm. Between the loss of habitat, coyotes, raptors, and his filing wet or boggy ground, they've just not continued.
I think I'm under surveillance. Some sort of Mossad-type pheasant unit is planning a revenge attack for my dog-and-gun incursions into their areas.
I'm being vewy vewy caweful.
But if I vanish, you'll know what happened.
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