Good jokes and general fun.
- Thread starter FCSpringer
- Start date
A poetry contest was held and the two final contestants were selected. A guy from Manchester Iowa, and a man attending Harvard. The poems submitted were so good that a winner could not be decided.
They were invited to New York for the tie breaker. The judge told them they would receive one word, and they would have 5 minutes to compose a poem and the recite it to the audience. The word he told them was Timbucktwo.
After five minutes he called them together and said by the coin flip the man from Harvard would go first.
He walked onto stage, cleared his throat and began. The air is as dry as the Rio Grande, as we cross the burning sand, camels traveling two by two, destination Timbucktwo.
The crowed loved it, the man from Iowa walked to the stage waited for order to be restored, cleared his throat and began. Tim and I a camping went, we met three girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two, I bucked one and Tim bucked two.
They were invited to New York for the tie breaker. The judge told them they would receive one word, and they would have 5 minutes to compose a poem and the recite it to the audience. The word he told them was Timbucktwo.
After five minutes he called them together and said by the coin flip the man from Harvard would go first.
He walked onto stage, cleared his throat and began. The air is as dry as the Rio Grande, as we cross the burning sand, camels traveling two by two, destination Timbucktwo.
The crowed loved it, the man from Iowa walked to the stage waited for order to be restored, cleared his throat and began. Tim and I a camping went, we met three girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two, I bucked one and Tim bucked two.
Ranger Rick
Member
Sounds like some Finlanders I know up in da UP!
A boy from Houghton meets a girl from Hancock. He asks her out and she agrees to go out with him. On the date night, he drives across the lift bridge into Hancock, picks her up and drives down to Hancock beach. He parks the car and slides his hand over onto her knee. She says "You can go farther than that", so he drove to Calumet.
Chestle
Well-known member
Who stole the cookie off the counter?
So who did steal the cookie off the counter?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9enQBN7_Mvg
So who did steal the cookie off the counter?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9enQBN7_Mvg
FCSpringer
Moderator
Weight Loss Program A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5lbs as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10lbs program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10lbs as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25 lbs program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."
He lost 33 lbs that week.
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5lbs as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10lbs program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10lbs as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25 lbs program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."
He lost 33 lbs that week.
westksbowhunter
Well-known member
Anyone know who the first carpenter was?
Highvoltage
Active member
Adam??????
westksbowhunter
Well-known member
Nope it was Eve!